We're Halfway There
by Rippl
Summary: "What are you doing?" She says, too tired to be angry with him. He doesn't reply, and begins to trace her jaw lightly. "What are you doing?" She asks again. "Memorising you" he says simply. And then Johanna understands.


Johanna stumbles in the door, so drunk she can barely walk, groping around for the light switch on the wall. "I swear to god these rooms make no fucking sense", she mumbles, finally finding the switch on the opposite side of the room. "You're telling me, I thought I was in _my_ bedroom" a smooth voice answered.  
Johanna reeled around, ready to beat whoevers' ass was in _her_ room at 3 in the morning. She was met with a smooth bronze expanse of skin.

"Fish boy" she sighs. "The one and only", Finnick replies, his trademark million-dollar grin plastered on his face. Johanna scowls, shoving him hard and moving past him to collapse on the bed, face down. She feels the bed dip as Finnick sits down next to her.

"You're drunk" he says. It's a statement, not a question. She grunts in response. Wordlessly, he runs his fingers through her hair. She rolls back over to look him in the eye. "What are you doing?" She says, too tired to be angry with him. He doesn't reply, and begins to trace her jaw lightly.  
"What are you doing?" She asks again. "Memorising you" he says simply.

And then Johanna understands.

"You're not fucking dying on me, Odair" she states, suddenly feeling much more alert. Finnick smiles sadly. "Annie said the same thing" he replied. Johanna laughs suddenly and loudly. "Annie _swore_?" She asks, through fits of laughter.  
Finnick nods slowly, studying Johanna. The beginning of tears started pouring down her face, and he wasn't sure they were from laughter. She stops suddenly, and the room falls into silence.

"If you die tomorrow, Fin, I..." She doesn't finish the sentence, choking on her words. Finnick wants to assure her, he wants to tell her that everything will be okay and they will get through this just like they did the first time, but he can't. He knows that would be a blatant lie, because nothing is ever certain in a world like this.

Instead, he wraps his arms around her. She stifles a sob in his bicep. "All of the tributes here, we're all in this together, Johanna." He tells her, "you and I aren't alone in this". She doesn't reply. "Haymitch's plan is a good one" he whispers. She laughs again - this time it sounds watery and weak.  
"There's no guarantee it'll work" she says bitterly. He knew himself that the chances of this plan succeeding were slim, but he always saw the brighter side of things and refused to think they had no hope at all.

"Look at me, Johanna" he says. She shakes her head in his shoulder. He sighs. "You can't give up now" he says. Johanna stiffens, and pulls back sharply, nearly falling off the bed. "I can't give up? **I CAN'T GIVE UP?**" She shrieks. Finnick knows what's coming and he doesn't try to stop her. She needed this.

"I gave up a long time ago!" She screams, grabbing the bedside lamp and hurling it at the wall. The lamp shatters and sends bits of porcelain flying, but Finnick doesn't flinch. He's seen this before. He sits on the bed, silent, while she throws things, screaming and crying.  
A wooden sculpture misses his head by an inch, hitting the opposite wall with a loud bang. He puts his head in his hands, willing himself not to intervene.

It's not until she tries to tip the dresser over that he grabs her around the middle, restraining her. She goes limp as soon as she feels his lips her on the neck. "I know you're angry Johanna" he whispers in her ear, "but don't let them win. Don't let them control you".  
Her legs collapse from underneath her and they slump to the floor together. He brings her into him, cradling her.

Slowly, her sobs stop and her breathing evens out. Finnick looks at the clock. 5:30 am. They have to be ready by 8. He doesn't sleep, rather prefers studying her face while she's sleeping. The scowl that is usually on her face has vanished and she looks almost serene.

He misses the time, between his games and when he met Annie that they used to spend together. He loved Annie. He did. But what he felt for Johanna was something else entirely. As unstable as Johanna was, she was like his anchor in a rough sea.  
And he served much the same purpose to her. They were two broken souls, who, when together, became whole again.

She stirs at 6:45 am. He shifts slightly, letting her wake. For a moment, she forgets where she is. And she smiles up at him. He hasn't seen her smile, really smile, since they were both just teenagers and she convinced him to try vodka for the first time. And he can't help himself, and grins back.  
The two of them hold each other's gazes, and just for a while they could pretend that they wouldn't have to face the arena again, that no one would have to die today.

An avox knocks at the door, disturbing them. Johanna breaks his gaze, standing up. "Well, fuck." she says, looking around at the room she had destroyed the previous night.  
There were shards of glass and porcelain scattered everywhere, the blankets were on the floor, and the bookcase had been emptied entirely, books strewn about the room. Finnick smiled sadly at her.

"We have to go." She says, breaking the silence. "I know" Finnick says, suddenly interested in the carpet, kicking at some shards of porcelain. "I don't know if I'll ever see you again outside the arena" Johanna says quietly. "We'll meet again" Finnick says.  
"Maybe not tomorrow, and maybe not next week, but we will". Of that, Finnick was sure.

"Christ, Finnick" Johanna says, tears in her eyes. "I don't know if I can do this." He grabs her hands. "Jo, you are the strongest person I've ever known" he says.  
And he means it. She's afraid to speak, lest she burst into tears again. So she just shakes her head and looks at the floor. He realises she's trembling.

"Remember the first time we met?" he asks, smiling absently. She groans. "I hadn't even been talking to you for a minute and you'd already called me an asshole." A tiny smile appears on her face. "And remember when I took you to the beach for the first time?"  
Johanna laughs at the memory. "You were so afraid of the water I had to carry you in". They both laugh this time, and Finnick commits this moment to memory. This is how he wanted to remember his Jo.

The avox knocks on the door again, and Finnick knows it's time. He wraps his arms around her and she does the same. "I love you, Johanna" he whispers into her ear. "I know" she replies. She's never told Finnick she loved him, because everyone she loved somehow ended up six feet under.  
"Goodbye, Fish Boy." She says. "See you in the arena". He hugs her once more, and brushes past her, disappearing into the hall.


End file.
